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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving $25 cars that get 1,000 to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (From
Mr. Welch himself):
"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:"
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For no reason whatsoever, your car would
crash twice a day.
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Every time they repainted the lines on the
road, you would have to buy a new car.
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Occasionally your car would die on the
freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and
drive on.
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Occasionally, executing a maneuver
such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
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Only
one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
"Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy
more seats.
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Macintosh
would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as
fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent
of the roads.
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The
oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced
by a single "general car fault" warning light.
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New
seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
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The
airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
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Occasionally
for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to
let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the
key and grab hold of the radio antenna.
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GM
would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Ran
McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice
Department.
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Every
time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
same manner as the old car.
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You'd
press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
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